September 23, 2007
One of Those Guys
So we are having a family discussion in the car the other day. We are talking about Somnia’s soccer team and sports in general.
Somnia says, “It’s not about winning, it’s all about having fun.”
I say in response, “Well, that’s sometimes true except for professional athletes. For them it is all about winning.”
Somnia replies, “But Papa, I want to be a professional soccer player.”
I reply back, “Well then Somnia, if you want to be a professional then it is all about winning. Professional athletes must win or else they won’t have a job.”
I believe in the blunt and honest truth when it comes to talking to my kids. It’s a blunt and competitive world out there so if the kid wants to really be a professional athlete, she should know the kind of people she will be up against. Tiger Woods was already swinging a golf club when he was my daughter’s age and don’t even think that he got where he is by ever believing that it wasn’t ALL about winning. You don’t get as competitive as he is without really believing it. The same goes for anything that we do. I know people who are top of their game in their given profession and it is certainly not all about just having fun and being half-rate. They are committed to possessing superior knowledge and competencies at what they do. If it’s your hobby, it is all about having fun. If it is your profession, it’s probably worthwhile to take a shot at being the best.
Fast forward to soccer practice yesterday. The kids huddle with the coach at the end of practice and Somnia says to all her teammates and her coach in the huddle, “my dad says that the most important thing is winning.”
Leave it to a kid to repeat your words completely out of context. I heard the coach quickly interject to Somnia and the other kids how incorrect this statement was and how important it was to simply try their best at practice and have fun playing the game. According to Somnia, the coach also said, “I am going to need to have a talk with your dad.”
So here I am now branded as “one of those guys.” When I simply made a statement about how we approach the things that we make our professions and livelihood. In hindsight, I probably am “one of those guys.”
“Those guys” usually have a burning desire to see their kids not make the same mistakes that they made. They burn to see their kids succeed in places that they did not. I built much of my life around having fun, perhaps to a fault until recently. Having fun is a good thing to a point. At the same time, in modern American society, a competitive spirit to win and be the best is a good thing too. It is in finding the balance of the two where the difficulty lies. If my child can find that balance then she will truly prosper both financially and mentally. Meanwhile, I guess I can expect to be having a little talk to by the soccer coach over the next few days. :(
September 20, 2007
Ultra-Alarmists
The ultra-alarmists in the media are at it again as we are subjected to headline after headline alluding to the recent discovery of lead paint in Mattel and other brand name toys manufactured in China. I certainly want to know and will do my best to keep these products out of my kids’ hands but I’m not going to go all “Lou Dobbs” and decry that these lead paint coated toys are part of some greater “war” on the American middle class where our government, large corporations and China are out to destroy me. I’m of the middle class, the lower middle class infact and I never understood nor have I ever felt like I was being "warred" against like Lou Dobbs so often likes to remind me. This guy is dangerous but that is another post.
Back to toys. My dads generation grew up with lead paint on every wall of the interior of their houses. Lead paint was probably on many of their toys as well. In the same week that I see “Toys gone bad” and “Deadly Toys” splattered all over the headlines I also see this article in Yahoo news proclaiming that US life expectancy is at an all time high . My dad’s generation is a part of this life expectancy boom and again, they were flanked by lead paint as children so while dangerous I’m sure, and something we need to do our best to keep out of the mouths of our children, I don’t see the need for the ultra-alarmism that the media so loves to drop on us leaving the society that much more paranoid and ready to pounce on the first available lawyer ready to take on that class action law suit.
There is really only one winner here and that is the Texas-based hard rock band “Dangerous Toys” Imagine the incredible leap in Google equity that these guys have seen over the last couple of months. If anything is a war on the middle class it’s that these guys will be taking the hard earned dollars of 30-somethings all over this country with their outdated brand of hair metal music.
September 11, 2007
Navigating the New Cleavage Culture
One interesting feature of working on a college campus is the constant access and introduction to the new trends of our country’s youth culture. From music to fashion and even language, I feel fortunate to often get a big picture look at what is hot amongst people younger than me.
One trend that I am noticing as school has returned to session this year is the unending stream of heaving cleavage popping from women’s shirts. It would seem that cleavage is no longer reserved for formal events and the beach but rather encouraged to be flaunted at every opportunity. This is not the tasteful “line” type cleavage either. This is literally “your stuff is hanging out” type cleavage.
I must admit that I am even a bit embarrassed discussing and showing a tame example of it here on my blog. I am asking myself: is this an appropriate topic? Should I be discussing this so candidly? Should I be showing a photo as demonstration? Then I answer myself: Why would it be a big deal? If the social green light has been given for unbridled cleavage at every opportunity from school to church and everything in between then there should be no issue in discussing my perceptions of this emerging cultural norm.
For men in their early 20s this phenomenon may go completely unnoticed because it is all they have ever known. For guys like me who are in our 30s, our reaction can be that of slight surprise to that of slight discomfort after spending a day passing by the continuous train of cleavage that now exists out on the street. I can only image what it must be like for men of my father’s generation who are confronted by bouncing spillage for the first time. Their reaction must range from absolute shock to literal embarrassment.
That brings me to my ultimate question to the ladies. What is considered the appropriate and polite behavioral response for a man when he is within eyeshot of a proudly exposed pair? Men are up against some fairly strong biological urges to cop a gaze. I personally work very hard to ignore them and act like they don’t exists. I make an imaginary line above the shoulders during a conversation with women who display their wares and assume that any movement of my eyes below this line will cause me a social barring of sorts. Perhaps that is viewed as just as rude as gawking. After all, they were purposely put on display. By not acknowledging their presence, am I being equally as rude?